I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize