I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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