just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Randomize
