roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
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