Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
