If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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