i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
