My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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