So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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