Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
