dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
