If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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