I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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