i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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