Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
