it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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