There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
