Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
3 2 1 whiskey
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
