I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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