I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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