Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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