I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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