so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
