Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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