I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
