goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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