I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
