I want to make a zoo with you.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
