smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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