If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
