hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
