i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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