She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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