Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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