Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize