thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize