i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The dick lei will go down in squad history
did i just pee glitter
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
