I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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