God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
