We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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