: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
