If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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