But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
