He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
