I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
