I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
