Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Please don't give away my fajitas
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