you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
