is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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