Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
false alarm, still single
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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