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It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Couch. On fire.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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