We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
