I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
