I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize