The maid of honor just puked.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
