no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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