she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
