she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
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you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
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i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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