Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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