Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
