Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
