I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
