Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
