Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
