You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize