Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
