You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
