Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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