just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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