return my video game
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
